I choose to love You.

Dear Jesus,

I am sorry. I know that I have sinned against You time and time again. But only today, I suddenly realize how it must have been hurting your heart when I felt the pain today. I've been living with this guilt for the whole day. Until now, this feeling is just so unbearable.

Jesus, I need You. My heart is so burdened and heavy with my sins. I never fail to see them coming back to mind from my unforgotten memory. Although it belongs to the past, I can't seem to leave it alone and move on to the future. Lord, have you forgiven me?

How do I know if I have truly repented? I can say 'sorry' or 'please forgive me' as many times as I want. But how many times has it been truly sincere? Is is my walk with You that isn't strong and closely bonded? Why does it seem that I can never understand Your heart? Or even mine?

GOD. I'm tired of living my life as a hypocrite. I do not deserve the praises and compliments that I receive from others who don't know my true self. Lord, Renew my heart. Cleanse my mind. Refresh my spirit. Humble my soul. I choose to love You.

Amen.